Meghan Daum. (2015). Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids. Picador.

Meghan Daum. 2015. Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers On the Decision Not to Have Kids. Picador.

Meghan Daum, Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers On the Decision Not to Have Kids. Picador, 2015.

Meghan Daum. Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers On the Decision Not to Have Kids. Picador, 2015.

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1. • value: heartbreaking
2. • value: family
3. • value: hilarious
4. • value: motherhood
5. • value: parenting
6. • value: miscarriage
7. • value: Taboo
8. • value: marriage
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19. • value: motivation
20. • value: Literary Collection
21. • value: geoff dyer
22. • value: kate christensen
23. • value: lionel shriver
24. • value: laura kipnis
25. • value: Voluntary Childlessness
26. • value: cultural conversation
27. • value: childless by choice
28. • value: Maternal instinct
29. • value: sigrid nunez
30. • value: childfree by choice
31. • value: child free life
32. • value: anna holmes
33. • value: elliott holt
34. • value: courtney hodell
35. • value: competitive mothering
36. • value: tim krieder
37. • value: social message
38. • value: non parents
39. • value: personal decision
40. • value: mg lord

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1. • role: Author of introduction, etc.
   • fileAs: Daum, Meghan
   • bioText: Meghan Daum is the author of the essay collection The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion. She is also the editor of the anthology Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids. Her other books include the essay collection My Misspent Youth, the novel The Quality of Life Report, and Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived In That House, a memoir. Since 2005, Meghan has been an opinion columnist for The Los Angeles Times, writing on political, cultural, and social affairs. She has contributed to public radio's Morning Edition, Marketplace, and This American Life, and has written for numerous publications, including The New Yorker, Harper's Magazine, GQ, Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, and The New York Times Magazine. She lives in Los Angeles.
   • name: Meghan Daum
2. • role: Author
   • fileAs: Daum, Meghan
   • bioText: Meghan Daum is the author of the essay collection The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion. She is also the editor of the anthology Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids. Her other books include the essay collection My Misspent Youth, the novel The Quality of Life Report, and Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived In That House, a memoir. Since 2005, Meghan has been an opinion columnist for The Los Angeles Times, writing on political, cultural, and social affairs. She has contributed to public radio's Morning Edition, Marketplace, and This American Life, and has written for numerous publications, including The New Yorker, Harper's Magazine, GQ, Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, and The New York Times Magazine. She lives in Los Angeles.
   • name: Meghan Daum
3. • role: Editor
   • fileAs: Daum, Meghan
   • bioText: Meghan Daum is the author of the essay collection The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion. She is also the editor of the anthology Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids. Her other books include the essay collection My Misspent Youth, the novel The Quality of Life Report, and Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived In That House, a memoir. Since 2005, Meghan has been an opinion columnist for The Los Angeles Times, writing on political, cultural, and social affairs. She has contributed to public radio's Morning Edition, Marketplace, and This American Life, and has written for numerous publications, including The New Yorker, Harper's Magazine, GQ, Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, and The New York Times Magazine. She lives in Los Angeles.
   • name: Meghan Daum

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2015-03-31T00:00:00-04:00

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title

Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed

fullDescription

Sixteen literary luminaries on the controversial subject of being childless by choice, in this critically acclaimed, bestselling anthology
One of the most provocative and talked-about books of the year, Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed is the stunning collection exploring one of society's most vexing taboos.
One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis," and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all—a successful career and the required 2.3 children—before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, the conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
In this exciting and controversial collection of essays, curated by writer Meghan Daum, thirteen acclaimed female writers explain why they have chosen to eschew motherhood. Contributors include Lionel Shriver, Sigrid Nunez, Kate Christensen, Elliott Holt, Geoff Dyer, and Tim Kreider, among others, who will give a unique perspective on the overwhelming cultural pressure of parenthood.
This collection makes a smart and passionate case for why parenthood is not the only path to a happy, productive life, and takes our parent-centric, kid-fixated, baby-bump-patrolling culture to task in the process. In this book, that shadowy faction known as the childless-by-choice comes out into the light.

reviews

1. • premium: False
   • source: Kate Bolick, The New York Times Book Review
   • content:

     "Anthologies aren't famous for changing attitudes en masse, but at the very least this one gives voice to the complexities of assuming and enjoying a 'child-free' life....The sixteen essays are cleverly arranged, creating a satisfying intellectual and emotional arc....The reader is treated to nearly every reason one might choose to forgo having children."

2. • premium: False
   • source: Katie Roiphe, The Washington Post
   • content: "[A] searing collection...The child-burdened should come away from this engaging collection with a rich sense of what they have missed."
3. • premium: False
   • source: Elissa Schappell, Vanity Fair
   • content: "Provocative."
4. • premium: False
   • source: TheAtlantic.com
   • content: "The 16 essays--variously funny, devastating, infuriating, insightful, and, yes, occasionally smug--not only dismantle the assumption of selfishness, they shed light on a stigma that's remained stubbornly pervasive...Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed is generally very strong, bringing together a diverse range of voices and styles to riff entertainingly on a subject that has seemed, up until now, unriffable. But as a collection of manifestos, it's hugely significant."
5. • premium: False
   • source: The Guardian (London)
   • content: "Some [essays] are moving, some are clear-eyed and straightforward, and some are straight-up funny."
6. • premium: True
   • source:
   • content:

     January 12, 2015
     Contrary to the title, none of the 16 essays in this absorbing collection reflect particularly selfish or shallow motivations for childlessness. As Daum points out in her introduction, she and the other writers surveyed here “are neither hedonists nor ascetics,” nor “do we hate children.” Some entries are heart-wrenching—especially Elliott Holt’s “Just an Aunt”—while others are downright hilarious. Geoff Dyer announces that he’s “had only two ambitions in life: to put on weight (it’s not going to happen) and never to have children (which, so far, I’ve achieved).” He pegs the latter goal in part to his reaction to the argument that having children gives life meaning, which rests on an assumption he doesn’t share: “that life needs a meaning or purpose!” In one of the more rigorous and thoughtful essays, Laura Kipnis deftly argues that the so-called maternal instinct is really a “socially organized choice masquerading as a natural one.” Pam Houston questions the familiar social message that encourages women to “have it all” by juggling motherhood and a fulfilling career. Elegantly giving voice to her childlessness, she observes that “love, like selfishness and generosity, is not exclusive to one demographic; it infuses every single thing we do and are.”

7. • premium: True
   • source:
   • content:

     January 1, 2015
     Daum (The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion, 2014, etc.) compiles essays from a group of noted writers-including Kate Christensen, Geoff Dyer and Lionel Shriver-holding forth on the topic of deliberate childlessness.The quality of the writing is uniformly high, but read as a whole, the pieces become repetitive and bleed into one another as the same notes are sounded over and over again. One prevalent theme concerns the oppressive conventional wisdom that holds parenting as life's most profound and worthy calling and the stigma attached to those who choose to forgo children in the interest of other pursuits. Other recurring motifs include the incomprehension of others regarding the writers' choices, the artistic sacrifices necessary for conscientious parenting, resentment of the physical demands of pregnancy and childbirth, frustration over prescriptive gender roles and the self-annihilation associated with domestic responsibilities. Thirteen of Daum's contributors are women, and three are men, but the perspectives and insights offered by all of the authors remain more or less uniform. A few of the essays touch on childhood abuse perpetrated by parents as a deterrent to procreation, but the majority cite a dedication to the writing life-and the profound disruption to that path that having children promises-as a primary motivator in remaining child-free. Regret over the decision to not have children is notably absent from the book; the authors here largely profess a sense of satisfaction and relief about the choices they have made. It's a sentiment worth considering but perhaps not 16 times in a row. Other contributors include Laura Kipnis, Sigrid Nunez, Anna Holmes and M.G. Lord. A courageous defense of childlessness and a necessary corrective to the Cult of Mommy, but Daum's collection could have benefitted from a more diverse pool of contributors and a fuller consideration of contrary opinions.

     COPYRIGHT(2015) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

8. • premium: True
   • source:
   • content:

     February 1, 2015
     

     Author and columnist (LA Times) Daum wrote a lengthy piece about choosing not to procreate, which was published in the New Yorker in 2014; she then reached out to 16 of her fellow childless (or child-free) writers. In what occasionally feels like a bi-coastal support group, 13 women and three men discuss their feelings and experiences. The essayists all appear to come from the educated, if not the upper-middle and middle classes. Almost all of the writers go to great lengths to say that they like kids and often enjoy their company more than that of the parents (a hilarious exception is Geoff Dyer's class-warfare screed against the hyperprivileged kids in his neighborhood). Many of the women discuss proudly their abortions; several mourn their miscarriages. Of note is "Antimom," Lionel Shriver's rumination on how the "be-here-now" lifestyle could change the racial makeup of the Western world, Laura Kipnis's and Anna Holmes's takedowns of competitive mothering, and Sigrid Nunez's recounting of never feeling safe as a child. Many themes are repeated, such as the conviction that one cannot have it all--motherhood and a fabulous career. The men's contributions seem tacked on and perhaps beyond the scope of this volume, and one wonders if this collection would have been better as a TED panel discussion. VERDICT For libraries with feminist collections, for fans of the featured essayists, and for those who are considering a child-free life. The questions and answers presented here are sure to stimulate discussion and debate. [See Prepub Alert, 10/27/14.]--Liz French, Library Journal

     Copyright 2015 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

9. • premium: True
   • source:
   • content:

     November 15, 2014
     

     Already stirring first serial interest, this book could stir controversy, too. Compiled by Daum, a Los Angeles Times op-ed columnist, it features essays from 16 literary stars on why they have chosen not to have children. In an age of helicopter parents, with the added notion that we really can have it all, this is a daring stance.

     Copyright 2014 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

10. • premium: True
    • source:
    • content:

      October 26, 2015
      Contrary to the title, none of the 16 essays in this absorbing collection reflect particularly selfish or shallow motivations for childlessness. Instead, the writers explore the challenges, considerations, and opportunities their lives have afforded them by choosing not to have children. The essays range from the emotional to the practical to the philosophical, but combine to provide a meaningful dialogue about why people choose not to have kids that challenge some typical representations of child-free adults. Voice actors Perrin and Heller make a great pair for the audio edition, with Perrin reading essays written by women and Heller covering the male authors. With only three essays by men, Heller has the lighter job, but still captures the tone and rhythm of each essay. Perrin has the bigger challenge, providing the voice and perspective of each of the 13 women writers. At times, the essays blur together, but her delivery is always confident and clear. Listeners will never be bored.
      A Picador hardcover.

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Sixteen literary luminaries on the controversial subject of being childless by choice, in this critically acclaimed, bestselling anthology
One of the most provocative and talked-about books of the year, Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed is the stunning collection exploring one of society's most vexing taboos.
One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis," and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all—a successful career and the required 2.3 children—before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, the conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
In this exciting and controversial collection of essays, curated by writer Meghan Daum, thirteen acclaimed female writers explain why they have chosen to eschew...

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