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You All Grow Up and Leave Me: A Memoir of Teenage Obsession
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HarperCollins 2018
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Description

"Unflinching, rich and revelatory."—MEGAN ABBOTT

"Gorgeous, moody, and evocative . . . half coming-of-age story and half exhaustively researched true crime." VANITY FAIR

"Bracingly honest and extremely discomfiting, this book is like a riveting episode of Law & Order: SVU set at a Manhattan prep school with the U.S. Open as a backdrop."—MARIE CLAIRE

A riveting blend of true crime and coming-of-age memoir— The Stranger Beside Me meets Prep—that presents an intimate and thought-provoking portrait of girlhood within Manhattan's exclusive private-school scene in the early 1990s, and a thoughtful meditation on adolescent obsession and the vulnerability of youth.

Piper Weiss was fourteen years old when her middle-aged tennis coach, Gary Wilensky, one of New York City's most prestigious private instructors, killed himself after a failed attempt to kidnap one of his teenage students. In the aftermath, authorities discovered that this well-known figure among the Upper East Side tennis crowd was actually a frightening child predator who had built a secret torture chamber—a "Cabin of Horrors"—in his secluded rental in the Adirondacks.

Before the shocking scandal broke, Piper had been thrilled to be one of "Gary's Girls." "Grandpa Gary," as he was known among his students, was different from other adults—he treated Piper like a grown-up, taking her to dinners, engaging in long intimate conversations with her, and sending her special valentines. As reporters swarmed her private community in the wake of Wilensky's death, Piper learned that her mentor was a predator with a sordid history of child stalking and sexual fetish. But why did she still feel protective of Gary, and why was she disappointed that he hadn't chosen her?

Now, twenty years later, Piper examines the event as both a teenage eyewitness and a dispassionate investigative reporter, hoping to understand and exorcise the childhood memories that haunt her to this day. Combining research, interviews, and personal records, You All Grow Up and Leave Me explores the psychological manipulation by child predators—their ability to charm their way into seemingly protected worlds—and the far-reaching effects their actions have on those who trust them most.

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Format:
Adobe EPUB eBook, Kindle Book, OverDrive Read
Street Date:
04/10/2018
Language:
English
ISBN:
9780062456595
ASIN:
B0713W46F3
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Citations
APA Citation (style guide)

Piper Weiss. (2018). You All Grow Up and Leave Me: A Memoir of Teenage Obsession. HarperCollins.

Chicago / Turabian - Author Date Citation (style guide)

Piper Weiss. 2018. You All Grow Up and Leave Me: A Memoir of Teenage Obsession. HarperCollins.

Chicago / Turabian - Humanities Citation (style guide)

Piper Weiss, You All Grow Up and Leave Me: A Memoir of Teenage Obsession. HarperCollins, 2018.

MLA Citation (style guide)

Piper Weiss. You All Grow Up and Leave Me: A Memoir of Teenage Obsession. HarperCollins, 2018.

Note! Citation formats are based on standards as of July 2022. Citations contain only title, author, edition, publisher, and year published. Citations should be used as a guideline and should be double checked for accuracy.
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Date Added:
Jun 12, 2018 16:22:58
Date Updated:
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        Piper Weiss has served as editor in chief at Levo, editorial director for HelloGiggles, and features editor for the New York Daily News and Yahoo. She is the author of the book My Mom, Style Icon and has written for various publications, including Hazlitt, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, Elle.com, and Refinery29. She lives in Brooklyn, New York. www.PiperWeiss.com

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fullDescription

"Unflinching, rich and revelatory."—MEGAN ABBOTT

"Gorgeous, moody, and evocative . . . half coming-of-age story and half exhaustively researched true crime." VANITY FAIR

"Bracingly honest and extremely discomfiting, this book is like a riveting episode of Law & Order: SVU set at a Manhattan prep school with the U.S. Open as a backdrop."—MARIE CLAIRE

A riveting blend of true crime and coming-of-age memoir— The Stranger Beside Me meets Prep—that presents an intimate and thought-provoking portrait of girlhood within Manhattan's exclusive private-school scene in the early 1990s, and a thoughtful meditation on adolescent obsession and the vulnerability of youth.

Piper Weiss was fourteen years old when her middle-aged tennis coach, Gary Wilensky, one of New York City's most prestigious private instructors, killed himself after a failed attempt to kidnap one of his teenage students. In the aftermath, authorities discovered that this well-known figure among the Upper East Side tennis crowd was actually a frightening child predator who had built a secret torture chamber—a "Cabin of Horrors"—in his secluded rental in the Adirondacks.

Before the shocking scandal broke, Piper had been thrilled to be one of "Gary's Girls." "Grandpa Gary," as he was known among his students, was different from other adults—he treated Piper like a grown-up, taking her to dinners, engaging in long intimate conversations with her, and sending her special valentines. As reporters swarmed her private community in the wake of Wilensky's death, Piper learned that her mentor was a predator with a sordid history of child stalking and sexual fetish. But why did she still feel protective of Gary, and why was she disappointed that he hadn't chosen her?

Now, twenty years later, Piper examines the event as both a teenage eyewitness and a dispassionate investigative reporter, hoping to understand and exorcise the childhood memories that haunt her to this day. Combining research, interviews, and personal records, You All Grow Up and Leave Me explores the psychological manipulation by child predators—their ability to charm their way into seemingly protected worlds—and the far-reaching effects their actions have on those who trust them most.

reviews
      • premium: False
      • source: Ivy Pochoda, Los Angeles Times
      • content:

        "Brilliant . . . Piper Weiss has crafted a book that marries true crime to memoir. . . . and Weiss shines as a memoirist—seamlessly unveiling the unexpected and the startling, revealing the raw, ragged truth about her conflicted and slightly twisted teenage self." — Ivy Pochoda, Los Angeles Times

        "Intriguing . . . Weiss has a wonderful eye for the evocative detail . . . and a light but effective touch when summing up the zeitgeist." — New York Times Book Review

        "Equal Parts true-crime investigation and self-reflection . . . Bracingly honest and extremely discomfiting, this book is like a riveting episode of Law & Order: SVU set at a Manhattan prep school with the U.S. Open as a backdrop." — Marie Claire

        "Gorgeous, moody, and evocative . . . half coming-of-age story and half exhaustively researched true crime. . . . Weiss's retelling is respectful, eschewing sensationalism for self-investigation, insightful metaphor, and lyrical turns of phrase." — Vanity Fair

        "You All Grow Up and Leave Me is unflinching, rich and revelatory, not just about its twin subjects—the true crime at the heart of the book and the wrenching coming-of-age story that surrounds it—but about the dangers, fragility and piercing beauty of girlhood itself." — Megan Abbott, bestselling author of You Will Know Me

        "A memoir so wholly original and brilliantly written, I feel comfortable saying nothing else in the genre compares. You All Grow Up and Leave Me perfectly marries the tenderness of coming-of-age with the horror of true crime . . . a gorgeous, haunting book." — Shondaland.com

        "There's a true crime story at the heart of this memoir—and a deeply disturbing one at that. But You All Grow Up and Leave Me is also a haunting, evocative, and thoroughly immersive tale that details the thrill and terror of growing up. I loved it." — Alison Gaylin, bestselling author of If I Die Tonight

        "Exquisitely captures the constantly shifting terrain of adolescence and the complicated—sometimes dangerous—politics of relationships between adults and teenagers . . . You All Grow Up and Leave Me is a compulsively readable and beautifully crafted book." — Kristen Radtke, author of Imagine Wanting Only This

        "Into an enthralling true-crime story of a middle-aged tennis coach's fixation on young girls, Piper Weiss has smuggled a tender, introspective, and beautifully written coming-of-age memoir . . . the 'teenage obsession' here brilliantly cuts both ways." — Teddy Wayne, bestselling author of Loner

        "There's a fine line between obsessions that shape us, and obsessions that veer into dangerous territory. In You All Grow Up and Leave Me, Piper Weiss shows how they overlap with a reporter's eye and a poet's heart." — Michele Filgate, writer and Contributing Editor at Literary Hub

        "Dark and brooding yet brisk and eloquently written . . . [Weiss's] vivid coming-of-age narration shines a spotlight on the precarious relationship between teenagers and adults and everything that can go awry in between. A bristling, harrowing journey into the life of a stalker and his unsuspecting victims." — Kirkus Reviews

        "So wildly chilling, you might forget that it's a true story." — HelloGiggles, Books We Can't Wait to Read in 2018

        "Riveting...Although the true crimes and potential crimes of Wilensky are the inciting incidents for Weiss's story, these tabloid headlines...

      • premium: True
      • source: Library Journal
      • content:

        December 1, 2017

        Part true crime, part coming-of-age story, Weiss's memoir details the time she spent training with Gary Wilensky, a popular private tennis coach to Upper East Side prep school students during the 1990s. Wilensky was affectionately known as "Grandpa Gary" in the prep school tennis circuit, and it was considered an honor to be coached by him and considered one of "Gary's girls." It was not until the parents of one of his students grew suspicious of his increasingly obsessive behavior toward their daughter that his true persona emerged. After Wilensky's failed attempt to kidnap this student, investigators uncovered a "cabin of horrors" in the Adirondacks, where Wilensky had stockpiled bondage gear and surveillance equipment. Weiss provides an eyewitness account of the scandal and what it was like to be coached by a child predator. VERDICT The author uses interviews, police reports, and her own hindsight to sort through memories that have disturbed her since adolescence. Haunting.--Erin Shea, Ferguson Lib., CT

        Copyright 2017 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

      • premium: True
      • source: Kirkus
      • content:

        February 15, 2018
        A woman who grew up under the tutelage of a predatory child molester shares her story.As a youth in Manhattan, Weiss (My Mom, Style Icon, 2011) was a tennis hopeful at "one of the top private schools in the country." Her memoir, a lyrically crafted yet unsettling affair, opens on a bus, with she and her classmates on their way to tennis lessons. She learned about Gary Wilensky, an in-demand private coach who became popular with many other girls at the school. The book's framework is culled from police reports, articles, interviews, personal field research, and Wilensky's own words, transcribed from documents. Through this dogged research, Weiss charts Wilensky's early life and his sketchy employment history and then moves into his private life, which became increasingly disturbing and sinister, ultimately revealing the shrouded world of a sexual obsessive who preyed on vulnerable, unassuming young girls. Running alongside this narrative is the story of the author's privileged upbringing and adolescent experiences, which paint a multitonal portrait of a girl in flux with schoolwork, insecurities, desires to succeed and discover herself, all while blissfully unaware of the predatory deviant lurking beneath the facade of a goofy middle-aged tennis coach who was cool with all the kids. By the time the author had her first tennis lessons with "Grandpa Gary" in the early 1990s, he had already amassed a group of favorite girls to whom he'd send valentines and divulge intimate secrets. Wilensky also began fully furnishing a remote cabin hideaway with bondage and torture equipment and surveillance technology. Was Weiss his next victim? No one will ever know; Wilensky killed himself after the failed kidnapping attempt of a mother and daughter he'd been stalking. Weiss has crafted a dark and brooding yet brisk and eloquently written memoir, and her vivid coming-of-age narration shines a spotlight on the precarious relationship between teenagers and adults and everything that can go awry in between.A bristling, harrowing journey into the life of a stalker and his unsuspecting victims.

        COPYRIGHT(2018) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

      • premium: True
      • source: Booklist
      • content:

        February 1, 2018
        In a combination of memoir and true crime, Weiss evokes her early 1990s teenage years and her involvement with a private tennis coach named Gary Wilensky. A child of privilege who lived on Park Avenue in New York, Weiss was part of a coterie of wealthy prepubescent and pubescent girls who were Wilensky's students. Well known in New York tennis circles, Wilensky was popular with his students, who called themselves Gary's Girls. Little did they know that he was a secret stalker obsessed with his students, one in particular whom he attempted, fecklessly, to kidnap. Failing, he committed suicide. The case was a sensation in 1993 but is now largely forgotten except by Weiss, who proves to have something of an obsession of her own with the case. Her story is divided between the early nineties and the near present. The true-crime part of her book is significantly more interesting than her report of her own unexceptional life as a well-to-do teen. As a result, this one is strictly for true-crime fans.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2018, American Library Association.)

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"Unflinching, rich and revelatory."—MEGAN ABBOTT

"Gorgeous, moody, and evocative . . . half coming-of-age story and half exhaustively researched true crime." VANITY FAIR

"Bracingly honest and extremely discomfiting, this book is like a riveting episode of Law & Order: SVU set at a Manhattan prep school with the U.S. Open as a backdrop."—MARIE CLAIRE

A riveting blend of true crime and coming-of-age memoir— The Stranger Beside Me meets Prep—that presents an intimate and thought-provoking portrait of girlhood within Manhattan's exclusive private-school scene in the early 1990s, and a thoughtful meditation on adolescent obsession and the vulnerability of youth.

Piper Weiss was fourteen years old when her middle-aged tennis coach, Gary Wilensky, one of New York City's most prestigious private instructors, killed himself after a failed attempt to kidnap one...

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