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The Four Things That Matter Most: A Book About Living
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Atria Books 2004
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"This beautiful book, full of wisdom and warmth, teaches us how to protect and preserve our most valuable possessions—the relationships with those we love. It shows that the things that matter definitely aren't 'things,' and how to empower your life in the right direction." —Dr. Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Four simple phrases—"Please forgive me," "I forgive you," "Thank you," and "I love you"—carry enormous power to mend and nurture our relationships and inner lives. These four phrases and the sentiments they convey provide a path to emotional wellbeing, guiding us through interpersonal difficulties to life with integrity and grace.

Newly updated with stories from people who have turned to this life-altering book in their time of need, this motivational teaching about what really matters reminds us how we can honor each relationship every day.

Dr. Ira Byock, an international leader in palliative care, explains how we can practice these life-affirming words in our day-to-day lives. Too often we assume that the people we love really know that we love them. Dr. Byock demonstrates the value of "stating the obvious" and provides practical insights into the benefits of letting go of old grudges and toxic emotions. His stories help us to forgive, appreciate, love, and celebrate one another and live life more fully.

Using the Four Things in a wide range of life situations, we can experience emotional healing even in the wake of family strife, personal tragedy, divorce, or in the face of death. With practical wisdom and spiritual power, The Four Things That Matter Most gives us the language and guidance to honor and experience what really matters most in our lives every day.
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Format:
Adobe EPUB eBook, Kindle Book, OverDrive Read
Street Date:
03/08/2004
Language:
English
ISBN:
9780743258609
ASIN:
B000NY125A
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APA Citation (style guide)

Ira Byock. (2004). The Four Things That Matter Most: A Book About Living. Atria Books.

Chicago / Turabian - Author Date Citation (style guide)

Ira Byock. 2004. The Four Things That Matter Most: A Book About Living. Atria Books.

Chicago / Turabian - Humanities Citation (style guide)

Ira Byock, The Four Things That Matter Most: A Book About Living. Atria Books, 2004.

MLA Citation (style guide)

Ira Byock. The Four Things That Matter Most: A Book About Living. Atria Books, 2004.

Note! Citation formats are based on standards as of July 2022. Citations contain only title, author, edition, publisher, and year published. Citations should be used as a guideline and should be double checked for accuracy.
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      • bioText: Ira Byock, MD, is a leading palliative care physician, author, and public advocate for improving care through the end of life. His research and writing have helped to define quality of life and quality of care for people living with advanced medical conditions. He has been involved in hospice and palliative care since 1978 and is a founding member and past president of the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine. From 1996 through 2006, he served as Director for Promoting Excellence in End-of-Life Care, a national grant program of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.
        Dr. Byock is Chief Medical Officer of the Institute for Human Caring of Providence Health and Services system. From 2003 through July 2013 he directed the palliative care program at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center in Lebanon, New Hampshire. Dr. Byock is a Professor of Medicine and Community & Family Medicine at the Geisel School of Medicine at Dartmouth.
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"This beautiful book, full of wisdom and warmth, teaches us how to protect and preserve our most valuable possessions—the relationships with those we love. It shows that the things that matter definitely aren't 'things,' and how to empower your life in the right direction." —Dr. Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Four simple phrases—"Please forgive me," "I forgive you," "Thank you," and "I love you"—carry enormous power to mend and nurture our relationships and inner lives. These four phrases and the sentiments they convey provide a path to emotional wellbeing, guiding us through interpersonal difficulties to life with integrity and grace.

Newly updated with stories from people who have turned to this life-altering book in their time of need, this motivational teaching about what really matters reminds us how we can honor each relationship every day.

Dr. Ira Byock, an international leader in palliative care, explains how we can practice these life-affirming words in our day-to-day lives. Too often we assume that the people we love really know that we love them. Dr. Byock demonstrates the value of "stating the obvious" and provides practical insights into the benefits of letting go of old grudges and toxic emotions. His stories help us to forgive, appreciate, love, and celebrate one another and live life more fully.

Using the Four Things in a wide range of life situations, we can experience emotional healing even in the wake of family strife, personal tragedy, divorce, or in the face of death. With practical wisdom and spiritual power, The Four Things That Matter Most gives us the language and guidance to honor and experience what really matters most in our lives every day.
reviews
      • premium: False
      • source: Caroline MyssAuthor of Sacred Contracts, Why People Don't Heal and How They Can,
      • content: and Anatomy of the Spirit The Four Things That Matter Most is a book of commonsense wisdom that has the power to dynamically change your life. It is a pleasure to recommend a book that encourages you to transform the quality of your life in simple ways that actually work.
      • premium: False
      • source: Maggie CallananCoauthor of Final Gifts
      • content: A tender read I highly recommend. The Four Things That Matter Most offers simple but solid solutions for healing our complex and fragile relationships -- wisdom that will surely enrich our lives.
      • premium: False
      • source: Larry Dossey, M.D. Author of Healing Beyond the Body, Reinventing Medicine,
      • content: and Healing Words For anyone who believes that years of therapy are required for transforming relationships with others, this book will come as a pleasant surprise. Great wisdom has always been simple -- that is why it is elusive -- and great wisdom is what this book contains.
      • premium: False
      • source: Zorba Paster, M.D.Author of The Longevity Code,
      • content: host of public radio's Zorba Paster on Your Health, and host of the public television special How to Live a Long, Sweet Life The Four Things That Matter Most provides simple, insightful words and stories that move the heart and the soul. Dr. Byock shows us a graceful way to nurture relationships and heal those that need mending.
      • premium: True
      • source: Publisher's Weekly
      • content:

        March 1, 2004
        Byock, a physician specializing in end-of-life care, argues that four crucial phrases--"I forgive you";"Please forgive me";"Thank you"; and"I love you"--are the key to improving important relationships. Gathering poignant and uplifting examples from his palliative care work at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center, Byock shows how"these four short sentences carry the core wisdom of what people who are dying have taught me about what matters most in life." (As the publicity sheet would have it, this is like"Every Day with Morrie.") Healing is always possible, Byock says, even after years of distance or rejection; he tells, for example, of a cold father who re-engaged with his family months before his death in a freak accident, and of a man dying of colon cancer whose gratitude for a good life made his passing less painful. This is important, inspirational stuff, but while Byock allows plenty of page-time for patients and their loved ones to explain the joy of reconnecting, little room is left for them to describe how they got to a place from which they could reach out. A caring counselor, or Byock himself, usually acts as the catalyst for healing in the cases described; it seems this book is designed to play the same role for readers, but there's no saying that things will go as smoothly as they seem to on the pages. Byock's enumerations on his ideas sometimes overlook the complexity of most lives:"Live each day as fully as possible" might be a tall order for someone railing against a debilitating or terminal disease. Still, few readers will be left unmoved as they ponder their own and loved ones' mortality through Byock's fervent call to reconciliation.

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Four simple phrases—"Please forgive me," "I forgive you," "Thank you," and "I love you"—carry enormous power to mend and nurture our relationships and inner lives. These four phrases and the sentiments they convey provide a path to emotional wellbeing, guiding us through interpersonal difficulties to life with integrity and grace.

Newly updated with stories from people who have turned to this life-altering book in their time of need, this motivational teaching about what really matters reminds us how we can honor each relationship every day.

Dr. Ira Byock, an international leader in...
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Atria Books
tableOfContents

Contents

Part One: The Four Things

Chapter 1: Saying the Four Things

Chapter 2: The Healing Power of Words

Chapter 3: Completing Relationships

Chapter 4: Transformations

Part Two: Forgiveness

Chapter 5: Loved Ones Live On Inside Us

Chapter 6: Resolving a Legacy of Pain

Chapter 7: The Emotional Economics of Forgiveness

Chapter 8: Extreme Acts of Forgiveness

Chapter 9: Forgiving Yourself

Chapter 10: Living with Uncertainty and Illness

Part Three: Thank YouChapter 11: Practicing Gratitude

Chapter 12: The Unexpected Grace of Reconnection

Chapter 13: The Family Dynamics of Gratitude

Part Four: I Love You

Chapter 14: Creative Ways of Saying the Four Things

Chapter 15: Loving the Body

Chapter 16: Living Every Day as if It Were Your First -- or Last

Chapter 17: Lives Intertwined with Love

Part Five: Good-bye

Chapter 18: Nothing Left Unsaid

Chapter 19: The Mysterious Magic of Some Good-byes

Chapter 20: Good-byes That Are Gifts Through Time

Chapter 21: Good-byes That Celebrate Life

Afterword: Reflections Before Good-bye

Acknowledgments

Index

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      • code: PSY000000
      • description: PSYCHOLOGY / General
      • code: SEL000000
      • description: Self-Help / General