Cathleen Schine. (2016). They May Not Mean To, But They Do: A Novel. Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

Cathleen Schine. 2016. They May Not Mean To, But They Do: A Novel. Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

Cathleen Schine, They May Not Mean To, But They Do: A Novel. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2016.

Cathleen Schine. They May Not Mean To, But They Do: A Novel. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2016.

OverDrive Product Record

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1. • value: Dysfunctional Families
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1. • role: Author
   • fileAs: Schine, Cathleen
   • bioText: Cathleen Schine is the author of The Grammarians, The Three Weissmanns of Westport, and The Love Letter, among other novels. She has contributed to the New Yorker, the New York Review of Books, the New York Times Magazine, and the New York Times Book Review. She lives in Los Angeles.
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2016-06-07T00:00:00-04:00

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title

They May Not Mean To, But They Do

fullDescription

From one of America's greatest comic novelists, a hilarious new novel about aging, family, loneliness, and love
The Bergman clan has always stuck together, growing as it incorporated in-laws, ex-in-laws, and same-sex spouses. But families don't just grow, they grow old, and the clan's matriarch, Joy, is not slipping into old age with the quiet grace her children, Molly and Daniel, would have wished. When Joy's beloved husband dies, Molly and Daniel have no shortage of solutions for their mother's loneliness and despair, but there is one challenge they did not count on: the reappearance of an ardent suitor from Joy's college days. And they didn't count on Joy herself, a mother suddenly as willful and rebellious as their own kids.
The New York Times–bestselling author Cathleen Schine has been called "full of invention, wit, and wisdom that can bear comparison to [ Jane] Austen's own" (The New York Review of Books), and she is at her best in this intensely human, profound, and honest novel about the intrusion of old age into the relationships of one loving but complicated family. They May Not Mean To, But They Do is a radiantly compassionate look at three generations, all coming of age together.

reviews

1. • premium: False
   • source: Phillip Lopate, New York Review of Books
   • content: "Cathleen Schine [is] one of our most realistically imaginative, dependably readable novelists. . . [H]er ten books comprise a sly, illuminating corpus that seems more related to the English comic novel than to most contemporary American fiction. [S]hapely and precisely structured. . . ruefully satiric. . . buoyant. . . sharply observant. . . Her tenth and newest novel . . . cuts deeper, feels fuller and more ambitious, and seems to me her best."
2. • premium: False
   • source: Los Angeles Review of Books
   • content: "Schine's painfully beautiful depiction of a woman's heroism in the face of that abyss offers, like the best literature, a reminder of the tender, frightening vulnerability we all share."
3. • premium: False
   • source: Meg Wolitzer, author of The Interestings
   • content: "This marvelous novel is emotionally stirring and hilarious on virtually every page. How does Cathleen Schine know everything about everything? Her observations about family life, friendship, loss, aging, dignity, indignity, and the attachments we miraculously make that never seem to unattach are profound and rewarding. I already miss living in the world of this special and winning book."
4. • premium: True
   • source:
   • content:

     April 18, 2016
     Schine (The Three Weissmanns of Westport) examines what happens when your other half dies with adroit observations about family, loss, and aging. New Yorker Joy Bergman discovers what it is like to be alone and old after her husband loses his long fight with Alzheimer’s disease. Without Aaron to care for, and with a new boss trying to retire her from her museum job, she suddenly feels each of her 86 years. Her children, Daniel and Molly, are filled with suggestions, but all involve taking away some measure of her independence. Things become further complicated when Joy brings a date to Passover. Meanwhile, Molly’s son continues to drift and her domestic partner’s dad keeps getting kicked out of nursing homes, and Daniel feels that he alone is worried about his mother’s financial stability. Joy’s doggedness when it comes to taking care of herself is recognizable and understandable, showcasing Schine’s intuitive empathy, and any adult with an aged parent will recognize her children’s well-meaning concern. Unfortunately, the ending peters out without a real conclusion. Agent: Molly Friedrich, The Friedrich Agency.

5. • premium: True
   • source:
   • content:

     May 15, 2016
     A close New York-based family copes with aging and death.The title of Schine's (Fin & Lady, 2013, etc.) 10th novel refers to the famous lines by British poet Philip Larkin: "They fuck you up, your mum and dad. / They may not mean to, but they do." For Joy Bergman, who's caring for her beloved but hopelessly senile and physically failing husband and whose adult children think the answer is to get her a dog, you can replace "mum and dad" with "son and daughter." This kind of witticism is one of the main pleasures of this novel, which introduces us to three generations of feisty characters but doesn't give them enough action to hold our interest. The aging, the dying, the coping, and the kvetching all seem to proceed almost as slowly as they do in real life. Every time something interesting happens, such as when one of the littlest Bergmans accidentally breaks a shop window and injures a rabbi or a tiny dog is mauled by a big ferocious one, any negative consequences are resolved by the end of the chapter. A storyline about an elderly suitor who turns up professing his lifelong adoration of Joy is muted. In lieu of a plot arc, the novel focuses on the warmth the author feels for her characters and the warmth they feel for each other. "Daniel had never understood that you could love anyone as much as he loved Ruby and Cora. This love was new, born when they were born. Now life without that love coursing through him was unimaginable." "It's hard to be an old Jew," as one of the characters comments, and it's not so exciting to read about them, either. If this is the beginning of a tsunami of books about aging by baby-boomer authors, let's hope things pick up.

     COPYRIGHT(2016) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

6. • premium: True
   • source:
   • content:

     April 1, 2016
     

     For Joy Bergman, aging has not been the graceful process she had hoped for. Her husband, Aaron, is developing dementia, as well as suffering from a multitude of physical problems. Her new supervisor at the museum, where she has worked as a conservator for decades, is trying to get rid of her. When Aaron dies, her children, Molly and Daniel, want to move her from her beloved New York apartment into an assisted-living facility. Nothing is proceeding as Joy planned--until an old flame reappears. Schine (The Three Weissmanns of Westport) is a master at limning family dynamics in all their messiness. Her depiction of the Bergmans demonstrates how tight a family can be and how difficult it may be for an outsider, like Joy's potential romantic interest, to be accepted into the inner circle. VERDICT Replete with aging parents, grandchildren growing up faster than one would like, and adult children wanting to take charge but being stifled by their mother's stubbornness, this could be any reader's clan. In addition, Schine's ability to shift seamlessly from one person's point of view to another's adds depth and richness. [See Prepub Alert, 1/4/16.]--Andrea Kempf, formerly Johnson Cty. Community Coll. Lib., Overland Park, KS

     Copyright 2016 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

7. • premium: True
   • source:
   • content:

     May 1, 2016
     Aaron Bergman is dying. His wife, Joy, is not in the best shape to take care of them, but she refuses to give up their New York City apartment for a nursing home, nor can she afford the in-home care her children insist upon. Molly, their daughter, feels guilty living across the country in L.A., but her wife can't give up her professor job to move back east. Daniel, their son, does his best, but he has a family of his own. As each of the Bergmans fights change and the passage of time, there are moments of hilarity and poignancy in equal measure. Though all the Bergmans, including Daniel's oldest and about-to-be-bat-mitvahed daughter, Ruby, tell parts of the story, it is Joy's journey from working caregiver to patient to widow that stands out. Schine once again captures the love laced with guilt and sardonic humor that keeps generations of New York families together, whether they like it or not. Give to readers who liked Lauren Fox's Days of Awe (2015).(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2016, American Library Association.)

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From one of America's greatest comic novelists, a hilarious new novel about aging, family, loneliness, and love
The Bergman clan has always stuck together, growing as it incorporated in-laws, ex-in-laws, and same-sex spouses. But families don't just grow, they grow old, and the clan's matriarch, Joy, is not slipping into old age with the quiet grace her children, Molly and Daniel, would have wished. When Joy's beloved husband dies, Molly and Daniel have no shortage of solutions for their mother's loneliness and despair, but there is one challenge they did not count on: the reappearance of an ardent suitor from Joy's college days. And they didn't count on Joy herself, a mother suddenly as willful and rebellious as their own kids.
The New York Times–bestselling author Cathleen Schine has been called "full of invention, wit, and wisdom that can bear comparison to [ Jane] Austen's own" (The New York Review of Books), and she is at her best in this...

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