Bite Me

One thing you have to know about my brother Sebastian: he loves being a vampire. After all, what’s not to love? He’s eternally twenty-five. He’s single, and frankly, he’s a chick magnet. Yeah, undeath is good. The only thing he’s serious about is his nightclub, Carfax Abbey. It’s the sort of dark, happening spot where vampires can really let their fangs down. You know, hiding in the shadows, feeding, giving pleasure to unsuspecting mortals, being all cool and vampirey. Whatever. My brother Rhys and I have tried to get Sebastian to clean up his bad-boy ways like we did, but then he went and called us “fang-whipped.” Okay, Bite Boy, chew on this…

The ultimate righteous reformer, Wilhemina Weiss, is on a mission to shut down Carfax Abbey. She doesn’t approve of my bro’s biting ways. It seems the spirited, sexy-without-knowing-it vampire is working undercover as a cocktail waitress in his bar while waging a secret war to bring him down. Sebastian’s A-positive he can convince Miss Goody-Vampire-Two-Fangs that nothing beats the ecstasy of a good vampire bite. She’s certain she can resist him for as long as it takes to reform him. I gotta tell you, the suspense would kill me—if I weren’t already undead.

Now, Mr. “Has anyone ever told you you’ve got a beautiful neck?” is in way over his. He’s finally met a girl who may not be his type, but she’s way more than his match. Not that he’s (cough) fang-whipped (cough) or anything. No, not my baby bro. One thing’s for sure, I’ve never seen Sebastian so completely at someone’s mercy in my life. And frankly, I’m enjoying every minute of it…