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In sickness and in health: love, disability, and a quest to understand the perils and pleasures of interabled romance

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Publisher:
Beacon Press
Pub. Date:
Varies, see individual formats and editions
Language:
English
Description
A frank, humorous exploration of interabled dating, love, and marriage
Ben Mattlin’s wife, ML, recalls falling in love with his confidence and sheer determination. On one of their earliest dates, he persuaded her to ride on his lap in his wheelchair on their way home from an Elvis Costello concert. Thirty years later, they still travel like this from time to time, undaunted by the curious stares following them down the street.
But In Sickness and in Health is more than an “inspiring” story of how a man born with spinal muscular atrophy—a congenital and incurable neuromuscular condition—survived childhood, graduated from Harvard, married an able-bodied woman, built a family with two daughters and a cat and a turtle, established a successful career in journalism, and lived happily ever after. As Mattlin considers the many times his relationship has been met with surprise or speculation by outsiders—those who consider his wife a “saint” or him just plain “lucky” for finding love—he issues a challenge to readers: why should the idea of an “interabled” couple be regarded as either tragic or noble?
Through conversations with more than a dozen other couples of varying abilities, ethnic backgrounds, and orientations, Mattlin sets out to understand whether these pairings are as unusual as onlookers seem to think. Reflecting on his own experience he wonders: How do people balance the stresses of personal-care help with the thrill of romance? Is it possible that the very things that appear to be insurmountable obstacles to a successful relationship—the financial burdens, the physical differences, the added element of an especially uncertain future—could be the building blocks of an enviable level of intimacy and communication that other couples could only dream of?
We meet Shane Burcaw, a twenty-three-year-old writer, who offers a glimpse of his first forays into dating with a disability. There’s Rachelle Friedman, the “paralyzed bride,” as the media refers to her, and her husband, discussing the joys and challenges of a new marriage and a growing family. And Christina Crosby and her partner, Janet Jakobsen, reflect on how Crosby’s disabling accident called for them to renegotiate their roles and expectations in their long-term relationship. What emerges is a candid glimpse into the challenges and joys of interabled love—from the first blush of sexual awakening to commitment and marriage and through to widowhood.
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ISBN:
9780807058541
9780807058558
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Grouping Information

Grouped Work ID5b8bf9e6-5380-f49b-90ca-5113bc7bb36d
Grouping Titlein sickness and in health love disability and a quest to understand the perils and pleasures of interabled romance
Grouping Authorben mattlin
Grouping Categorybook
Grouping LanguageEnglish (eng)
Last Grouping Update2022-10-04 02:08:35AM
Last Indexed2022-10-04 02:49:37AM

Solr Fields

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0
accelerated_reader_reading_level
0
author
Mattlin, Ben, 1962-
author_display
Mattlin, Ben
available_at_catalog
Carmichael
Central
Elk Grove
Franklin
North Highlands-Antelope
Pocket-Greenhaven
Southgate
detailed_location_catalog
Carmichael
Central
Elk Grove
Franklin
North Highlands-Antelope
Pocket-Greenhaven
Southgate
display_description
A frank, humorous exploration of interabled dating, love, and marriage
Ben Mattlin’s wife, ML, recalls falling in love with his confidence and sheer determination. On one of their earliest dates, he persuaded her to ride on his lap in his wheelchair on their way home from an Elvis Costello concert. Thirty years later, they still travel like this from time to time, undaunted by the curious stares following them down the street.
But In Sickness and in Health is more than an “inspiring” story of how a man born with spinal muscular atrophy—a congenital and incurable neuromuscular condition—survived childhood, graduated from Harvard, married an able-bodied woman, built a family with two daughters and a cat and a turtle, established a successful career in journalism, and lived happily ever after. As Mattlin considers the many times his relationship has been met with surprise or speculation by outsiders—those who consider his wife a “saint” or him just plain “lucky” for finding love—he issues a challenge to readers: why should the idea of an “interabled” couple be regarded as either tragic or noble?
Through conversations with more than a dozen other couples of varying abilities, ethnic backgrounds, and orientations, Mattlin sets out to understand whether these pairings are as unusual as onlookers seem to think. Reflecting on his own experience he wonders: How do people balance the stresses of personal-care help with the thrill of romance? Is it possible that the very things that appear to be insurmountable obstacles to a successful relationship—the financial burdens, the physical differences, the added element of an especially uncertain future—could be the building blocks of an enviable level of intimacy and communication that other couples could only dream of?
We meet Shane Burcaw, a twenty-three-year-old writer, who offers a glimpse of his first forays into dating with a disability. There’s Rachelle Friedman, the “paralyzed bride,” as the media refers to her, and her husband, discussing the joys and challenges of a new marriage and a growing family. And Christina Crosby and her partner, Janet Jakobsen, reflect on how Crosby’s disabling accident called for them to renegotiate their roles and expectations in their long-term relationship. What emerges is a candid glimpse into the challenges and joys of interabled love—from the first blush of sexual awakening to commitment and marriage and through to widowhood.
format_catalog
Book
eBook
format_category_catalog
Books
eBook
id
5b8bf9e6-5380-f49b-90ca-5113bc7bb36d
isbn
9780807058541
9780807058558
itype_catalog
Adult Book Non-Fiction
last_indexed
2022-10-04T09:49:37.986Z
lexile_score
-1
literary_form
Non Fiction
literary_form_full
Non Fiction
local_callnumber_catalog
306.8087 M444 2018
owning_library_catalog
Sacramento Public Library
owning_location_catalog
Carmichael
Central
Elk Grove
Franklin
North Highlands-Antelope
Pocket-Greenhaven
Southgate
primary_isbn
9780807058541
publishDate
2018
publisher
Beacon Press
recordtype
grouped_work
subject_facet
Couples -- United States -- Case studies
Interpersonal relations -- United States -- Case studies
Man-woman relationships -- United States -- Case studies
People with disabilities -- United States -- Case studies
title_display
In sickness and in health : love, disability, and a quest to understand the perils and pleasures of interabled romance
title_full
In Sickness and in Health Love, Disability, and a Quest to Understand the Perils and Pleasures of Interabled Romance
In sickness and in health : love, disability, and a quest to understand the perils and pleasures of interabled romance / Ben Mattlin
title_short
In sickness and in health
title_sub
love, disability, and a quest to understand the perils and pleasures of interabled romance
topic_facet
Couples
Family & Relationships
Interpersonal relations
Man-woman relationships
Nonfiction
People with disabilities
Sociology

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